Most of us have them. Friends. Some of us don’t.
Real or sometimes imagined (read facebook friends). There are many kinds of friendships and friends: close friends, far away long distance friends, childhood friends, family friends, best friends, casual friends, long time friends, new friends, old friends, weird friends, incredible friends, asshole friends, and occasional friends but the thread that runs through these kinds of relationships we have is friendship.
That special feeling we shared with that special person that was enough to connect us to them through some kind of mutual understanding, experience or viewpoint. It is akin to falling in love and in a way it is, however I think that it is that we can recognize ourselves and are reflected in another and find the acceptance in that realization when two like minded people meet and become friends.
Some of us have many friends and could be compared to our wardrobe selections, while some on the other hand enjoy fewer relationships, to be counted on one hand and compare to that favorite shirt or that favorite pair of jeans; you know the ones. They just make you feel so good when you slip into them. Just as that friend makes you feel when you are together, doing whatever.
I have a handful of good friends. That’s all I need. And most of those are long distance friends, people with whom I have spent close and intimate experiences with at one point in my/our lives and have moved away and grown apart in many real senses. And yet the friendship remains, persists in spite of everything. Even if those friends I hold dear don’t communicate as I do. I write, they don’t. It’s weird but true and I have gotten used to it after years of frustration. It is what it is.
That which makes close friendships special is the fact that no matter how long the times between a face to face encounter, the connection does not waver or suffer. It is often like a time warp feeling.
And then let’s not forget that special frienship condiment ‘catch-up’ that works like a quick acting bonding agent, over drinks, a shared meal, fast food a cup of tea or coffee. That togetherness when the information gap is topped up again and the deep waters have been plumbed for connection, compared life experiences and insights. Friends just like being together. Those waters run deep if not always smooth.
Last week I had the opportunity to again hook up with a long time friend whom I had not seen in many months. Before our last visit it had been many many years during which contact had been lost and I was so happy to realize and rediscover that our friendship was still intact, still close and as interesting and vibrant to both of us as it had been in years gone past. We had matured and so had our friendship, and that is the beauty of it all. True friends simply are … no need to try to be … no pretense or fake this or that. Just true self.
And for that I am forever grateful. That these kinds of relationships offer that kind of unconditional connection. No matter what.
Some say that friends are Gods way of apologizing to us for our families and perhaps there is a kernel of humoros truth in it, but family also offers friendships even if it not something all of us all of us discover. Family ties and connections is another topic altogether and best left for another scribble session.
I like the friends I have in my life and am glad to learn from them and to be there for them whenever I can.