Disdainfully yours … dishes


sundry extraneous fascinations

•take time to clean up
•dirty dishes are easy to create
•are handy to use in the kitchen
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dirty pot

•accumulate non stop in a kitchen where food is prepared regularly, not so much in kitchens of those who order out or go out to find their daily fare
•take up valuable kitchen counter space, more slowly if you have lots of space, more rapidly if you have a mini kitchen
•begin to smell if left too long on their own, the may contain things but don’t do much else
•don’t wash themselves, you must do that for them and yourself and your guests
•are useless on their own
•are best hidden inside dishwashers, if you have one
©myron unrau iphoneographythis©

Dirty Soup Ladle

•must be washed or thrown out if you have paper plates and such
•can be dried, but unlike laundry can not be hung out to dry
•can be left to dry in dish rack, dish rack can double as dish cupboard
•glassware breaks more frequently than plates
•bowls tend to chip more often than plates
•cheap dishes don’t last
•plates don’t always break or shatter when dropped onto kitchen floor, depending on hardness factor of your floor
•sometime the piece you wish would break doesn’t break, even if you introduce it to the floor
•dishes sometimes find their way under the couch or under your bed
•your coffee cup does not have to be washed every time you’ve used it, unless you like using milk or creamer in every cup

©myron unrau iphoneographythis©

Danger Knife in Water

•cutlery will cut or stab you while hiding beneath the suds in your water filled sink
•will scald you if you use hot water but forgot how hot is is
•can put you in a sour mood
•just thinking about doing dishes causes procrastination
•make you want a clean kitchen, someone elses clean kitchen
•make you envy magazine kitchen images
•cause you to avoid your kitchen
•drink liquids out of inappropriate containers
•are not entertaining
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Cutlery

•do not make you hungry
•are invisible when cleaned and put away
•don’t always match, bachelors don’t often care about that, girlfriends of bachelors often do
•stack well if one is organized and avoiding doing them for the time being
•can take an inordinate amount of time, if procrastination has been involved and you’ve run out of things to use
•can shrivel up your hands
•cause you to use rubber gloves
•make you feel oddly happy, if you have a chip free whole matching set
•keep your recently cooked meal warm if you heated the plates beforehand
•keep you coming back to the sink, cupboard, kitchen to use them

©myronunrau iphoneographythis©

Kitchen Sink

•knives are frikiin’ dangerous, either the dull ones or the really sharp ones
•forks can put holes in your hand if grabbed improperly
•spoons stir, measure and spoon things
•pasta bowl sets rock
•soup bowls should be large
•pots and pans are required
•baking tins and pans are good for baking things and blackening
•pizza pans can be holy

©myronunrau iphoneographythis©

The Making of a Dirty Pot

•plastic does not have the same feel as porcelain or glass
•if you love food, you have way too many dishes in your kitchen
•if you like entertaining, you most likely have even more dishes than the average human
•you know you are a bachelor if your camping dishes sneak into your kitchen cupboards
•expensive dishes do the same things as cheap dishes
•cheap dishes don’t last as long as expensive dishes
•sometimes you can get expensive dishes cheaply
•every dish must be washed

… I better get in there and do my dishes, again.

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